That's intense
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
