she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
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