You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize