I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Randomize