oh god the rape fog is back!
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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