Don't you send me to vm
I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
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