Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
Randomize
