This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
Randomize
