I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
