A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
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