it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
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