I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Randomize
