I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
Randomize
