So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
Randomize
