Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
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