so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
Randomize