friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
