Me too!
My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
The air was thick with penises
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
Randomize
