Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
Randomize
