Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
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