You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Randomize
