I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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