I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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