I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
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