i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
