epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Oh god it's open bar.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize
