The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
I molested 6 butterflies tonight
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
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