stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
Randomize
