My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
Randomize
