We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
Randomize
