Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
