Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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