I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
Randomize
