Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
you inspire me to be a worse person
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
Randomize
