Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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