Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
Oh god it's open bar.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
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