you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
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