And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
Randomize
