idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
