She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
