Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Randomize
