How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
it was like eating out sand paper
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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