Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
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