At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
Randomize
