i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
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