I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
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