I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
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