i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Randomize