i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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