Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
