I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
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