My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
Randomize
