We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
Randomize
