Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
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