Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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