Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
