Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
Just cropdusted the office
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
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