College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
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