ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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