How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
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