Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
Randomize
